so frail - so cruel

I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had an angel
tonight
Deep into a dying day
I took a step outside an innocent heart
Prepare to hate me fall when I may
This night will hurt you like never before
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder
I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had an angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I`m in love with my lust
Burning angel wings to dust
I wish I had an angel tonight
I`m going down so frail and cruel
Drunken disguise changes all the rules
Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder
I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had an angelYour Virgin Mary undone
I`m in love with my lust
Burning angel wings to dust
I wish I had an angel tonight
Greatest thrill
Not to kill
But to have the prize of the nightHypocriteWannabe friend13th disciple who betrayed me for nothing!
Last dance, first kiss
Your touch, my bliss
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts
I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had an angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I`m in love with my lust
Burning angel wings to dust
I wish I had an angel
tonight
I wish I had an angel
~Nightwish

Introduction to Darkness

Dampness reverberated around me unseen but heard and felt. At first nothing more than a drip, then a dribble as moisture seeped through fissures. It was a fine mist along me skin both warming me as a cocoon then chilling as I tried to stir. I was the weight of the universe itself as muscles refused to move. Like the air around me they were dense. Total blackness, my obscurity for a moment. My eyes slowly adjusting finally found contours where light played over surfaces. A brick in the wall, stones that made the flooring beneath me and the vertical lines of bars. Scents filled in gaps that vision could not. Musty, molded dankness, odors of fear, pain and futility permeated my nostrils. Echoes of my breathing had a rasp, the chink of chain with efforts of movement. It was instinct that told me where I was. I made self assessment. I was not broken. My senses were dulled but in tact. My thighs bore the slick wetness of excitement. I'd not been f*cked but I knew well I'd been beaten. It is simply one of those inherent traits bred into me by my creator ... to lubricate at the touch of a whip. I tried to alleviate the tingling in my up stretched arms by shifting. The intensity caved in on me in a new wash of exquisite pain and vertigo. I gave into it and the darkness descended once again

Rape of a fairy tale

Rape of a fairy taleThe house had been quiet for a long time except for the eerie sound of dust settling in the corridors. It is not unusual of powerful men's homes to winter in one cylinder and spend warmer seasons in another. Seasons had come and gone though. How many, I am painfully aware of but it does not matter. They are gone. Life within Caethlong had been rich and glorious as His slave. I was reformed into a creation of His will. It was my task to see to His needs, His pleasures, His home, His accounts .. in every way except the legalities .. His companion. I was made His love slave.Much of my time I spent in the dance chambers, entertaining guests of the house, seeing to scrolls of house accounts or within the inner gardens. These inner gardens are the sanctums of a prominent man's home. They are the heart of His pleasures, where He keeps His most treasured possessions; rare flowers, valuable statues, works of art, His personal slave. It was the inner sanctum, a place of safety, protection. I should have heard the scuffle of footsteps. I should have felt the piercing of the beauty, the bliss, the serenity. I did not. It was only half ihn before I felt darkness descend that I noted the crunch of pebble beneath a heel. Not enough time for my mind to process the information. Gasping for air as the fabrics closed over my face, clutching feverishly at the existence of my world, fighting the biting grasp of calloused hands on my body .. should .. have been my reaction. It was not. Merely slipping within the confines of my impassiveness, I held still. Perhaps that complacency angered my captors more, robbing them of the thrill of their plunder. Beneath the imposed blackness, I felt the suddenness of extreme pressure on my cheek and saw the blast of bright lights before my eyes and my world ceased to exist.

beginning

Though the path to the future can be well mapped, it is the uncertainties of each footfall and all the possible detours that create the intrigue of the journey. Somehow, somewhere deep within I knew this one would be much more than a change of ownership. The dismal insulas fell behind me, the middle caste streets became history. House Caethlong was one of Ar's great Houses. Its heritage spanned back for generation after generation. As many floors as one could see upward of the cylinder, there were an equal number beneath the hustle and bustle of the city streets. None of this once slid into my peripheral vision as the agent led me through the entrance and along the winding corridors. It was beyond all of this that I was focused, at the end of those halls was my single purpose.Gathered within the assessment chamber were other slaves of the house. The casual banter was warm and welcoming enough, I merely did not acknowledge them. I awaited my appraisal. As I stepped to the podium, every tef of my training should have surfaced to be perfection and it was until ... He touched me. Despite all I had been taught nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of sensations that simple caress, the slaver's kiss illicited. The rush of ... The flood of ... The race of ... yessss everything I had been bred to be had been ignited. Even the chromosomes for my gender felt the skill. I knew then, I was a woman. I was a woman in the hands of a true gorean male, and no mere one at that, a slaver, one that is superb in his craft.

repercussion

Create the order lift me out of the engulfing chaos
Offer what glimpse may be
impartment and refinement
drive on
Randomness flee from me
Ascendency not reproof such
sweet perfection
succor me

~hers

Strings

A tentative
hover
of my hand
held out to you
as it should
trembling
oh so nervous
how you must
must find
it all
amusing
and praying
you find it
good
faltering
frightened
beneath it all
trusting
and too
within
I find
a comfort
a smile
that you
have always
known
I would

~hers

and a new journey began

And a new journey began
A guest had been brought to the let chamber of the inn. qui found an ease in serving the man and took note that his gaze often found her with every movement. Shorl kept quiet for most of the eve, chewing on a bit of bread and dipping it into his wine rather than spending his time in entertaining the man. Each of her movements came with a fluid grace as she seemed to glide about the pair. The goblets were never allowed to empty and dishes were gathered as the bits of food were abandoned. The girl was unobtrusive to their conversations though the guest would often lift his eyes to watch her before speaking again to her protector. The ahn was not late when Shorl growled and snatched his coin pouch and without a word stalked out the door. It stopped the girl in her tracks for a moment but it hadn't taken much time to recover. She knew .. she understood. She had been sold. The request for her to gather her things came in a much softer tone than she had become accustomed to with the other men. All she took with her was the cloak she had been allowed. Even the small card she'd been given in the insula was left behind. She would not need it now.
It was almost a relief to step out into the fresh air of the streets and heel behind the man. There was no compacency in her actions now as she strode just to his left with her head lifted. She simply never looked back.